When The Stream Dries Up, We're In Trouble

Aha, the Neotimer is back.  He didn't intend the time between his postings to be so long but life's been rather rapid fire around the Neotimer's place lately.  You see, Ms Helen took a nasty fall off Houdini, her Peruvian Paso, at the end of June.  Although she was injured pretty severely with a pelvis fractured in two places and ribs that sorta pop in and out with any twisting motion, her initial diagnosis was, “Ah you're just bruised, go on home and take some Tylenol and suck it up”.  But after about a week of multiple X-rays, CAT scans, etc, we had a good diagnosis.  Nothing really changed but at least we knew that she would have to severely limit her activities for the next six weeks or more.

During the time from the initial mis-diagnosis to the CAT scan, we'd had a trail ride planned at the Midwest Trail Ride at Norman, IN, that's a few miles southeast of Bloomington in what the locals call the "Indiana Smokies".  We were signed up in an American Competitive Trail Horse Association competition on Saturday and there was an "Extreme Cowboy Competition" by the locals on Sunday, the Fourth of July.  Well I figured that was off for sure, but Ms Helen, crippled as she was, insisted we go on the ride anyway. It was a weekend of misery for her but she served as the photographer when the "Official Photographer" didn't show up and I managed to squeak out a sixth place ribbon on old Treasure.  Helen felt that Houdini didn't deserve to get out of the Extreme Cowboy competition so, not having ridden him in anything like this before, and having ridden him very little at all, I entered us.  I thought we were presentable.  Ms Helen made a video of us an posted it on her Facebook page where you can view it if you'd like.


Now, by this time, I know you're already saying, what in the heck does any of this have to do with streams.  Well let me tell you something.  When you get out of the "Neo" life and into the "timer" life, there are certain body parts that can wreak havoc with you.  One of them being the old, shall I say it, PROSTATE.  The Netotimer has always been a moderate risk taker, I mean Houdini was running full speed and bucking when he managed to dislodge MS Helen, who did I mention, only has one good arm due to serious tears of the rotator cuff muscles in the other one.  So asking him to do those things in that competition while having the picture of her trying her best to get him reined in with one arm, then falling as he took a hard left and stopped was still in the forefront of my mind all during my ride in that video above.  But back to being a risk taker, after a week or two of trying my best to keep Ms Helen's needs met, we talked about how it might feel good to spend some time in the pool.  When you got horses you never get rich.  The rich who have horses were rich first, so therefore, our pool is one of those 18' Intex Easy Set models.  It had been in a period of disuse and the Neotimer figured it would be easier to vacuum it out from inside the pool.  I'd then get the chemicals readjusted and it'd be good to go for Ms Helen's hydro-therapy.  BIG MISTAKE!!  There are little invisible critters called bacteria that live in improperly treated swimming pools, and there are appendages, (which are much more relaxed on Neotimers), which have orifices where those little critters can explore, and when they get to swimming around in there, they find the aforementioned PROSTATE, and find it to be delicious, roomy and comfortable.  They move in and set up housekeeping and the stream dries up folks.  I mean it dries up.  And what little of the trickle that does remain feels just like the throats on those old cows must feel.  You know the ones you see standing in the Winchester drawings as the stream barely trickles by.

Well now the Neotimer believes in doctors … up to a point.  He tries to stay a long way away from them at all times, but when you are feeling great on Sunday afternoon and by bedtime feeling as if you are going to die and wishing you would so you can get some relief, you're on that doorstep with the snakes wrapped around the sword at the crack of dawn.  We start off trying to be delicate in trying to describe our condition but nothing works besides saying "The stream has dried up".  There are drugs that can fix this, but it's a guess as to which one.  (To which the Neotimer would add that all medicine is guesses based on other guesses that have worked in the past.  That’s why they call it “practicing" medicine.)  The Neotimer is a strong believer in the National Institutes for Health and their wonderful website.  I get all my in-depth medical information there.  They'll talk to you as long as you want to search and read, and it doesn't cost you a dime.  You just have to back off a little bit and not be one of those kinds that say, "That sounds just like what I've got.  No wait, THAT sounds just like what I've got…. NO WAIT......

The Neotimer is on Cipro, but on day six and a half, he started spiking a fever again.  Waited the weekend and called the doctor's office.  Don’t have a thermometer, can’t tell the actual temperature, but the screening nurse, who wanted that actual number before she would acknowledge it was a fever, says, “He will tell you to continue taking the antibiotic and take something else for the fever”.  A fever still? After eight days of antibiotics?? Time to go see the man with the snakes on the sword and say, "Guess again".

Hot Tubs, Hot Weather And Great Expectations.

I gotta tell you, the Neotimer is impressed by new and innovative technology and is quick to share when something is a stand-out product.  One of the most recent projects the Neotimer has been involved in was upgrading Ms Helen's hot tub to current technological standards.

Now I have to tell you that the Neotimer, in his old timer vein, tries to be pretty thrifty.  I think hot tubs are way over priced and, until last year, had successfully resisted Ms Helen's suggestions of adding one on the deck off the master bedroom for quite a while now.  But ... Son JR bought a home that had a hot tub in the back.  He and Stacy didn't care for it that much and he offered me a good deal on it and help with transporting it from his house to the Neotimer's back deck if I'd consider it.  Thinking it was a good way of staying in or getting back in the good graces of Ms Helen, I took him up on it.

Well needless to say, it took some serious maintenance to keep the controller going, this being an older model with all mechanical relays and air switches.  First I had to replace the circulator pump, then one of the air switches, then the water heater, then one of the heater relays.  When the 110/220V selector relay burned out, I just bypassed it and kept going.

All the while, as I was Googling for parts, I kept getting hits on a site called SpaGuts.com.  They had everything I needed, were reasonably priced and had inexpensive and quick shipping.  They also had something else on their web site.  A statement that said, "If you're having to keep replacing parts in your controller, you will probably come out cheaper to replace you old electromechanical one with a new all electronic controller".  When that last heater relay burned out, I gave up and ordered the new controller.

The Neotimer is a pretty good jack-leg plumber in addition to his electrical/electronic skills so I figured I would be able to do everything required to put this thing into service.  It was easy, I did have to replumb my low flow side to the new low flow heater required with the new controller and had to drill a couple holes in the fiberglass of the tub to mount the temperature sensor and the new keypad control panel that replaces the air switches.  But it is in, it looks good, it works great and Ms Helen has never been happier with the hot tub.

A couple weeks ago Utah Terry, the farrier, was over trimming the horses feet.  I told him about the the new controller, about my skillful craftsmanship in the installation of it and insisted he come and take a look at, what I think is, one of the most beautiful installations of a SpaGuts.com hot tub controller in the world.  He looked at it, rubbed his chin a little bit and said, "Well where is the remote control?  It does have a remote control doesn't it?"  I said, "Dang it Terry, it's people like you that just break the Neotimer's heart."